사랑해, 보고 싶을 (love you, and miss you )

still, depicted in my mind, you and me, precisely us. finally met each other.

I hate you, (maybe) You (also ) hate me.

you sucked, when I treat you well.

You hurt me always, though I had spoke politely.

you know what, it makes me hate you.

and it was so hard, to live with someone we hate, that I should see your annoying face everyday.

so, I try to ignore you, pretend I never tought of you, I never looked at you, but, in fact I keep thinking of you, paying attention to every little thing you do. yeah, they're right. Hatred is not that different with love. Damn.

the day goes by...

I still hate you, but now I pretend to be good . Wait, actually, I never ever show my anger to you, So, it means I am good on your own preception. isn't it ?. or maybe I was nothing .yeah, maybe you never ever notice that there was me. I was just like a wind. honestly, you're also a wind, but a wind Tornado.

and what is the point huh ? #justignoreit >.<

In time, I finally tought that I was so childish..., it just hurt me ( and you're not influenced completely ) arrgh...

In time, you are now so nice , beside you're annoying behaviour, you have a lot of kindness that so impress me, (awww..)

ya.. I now love you, not suddenly, but step by step ( what daz it min ? yeah, u self know lah )

being with you is not so annoying anymore, it becomes fun... though you sometimes still couldn't control you're awful bad temper .lol.... but, I take it as a joke, yeah you're joking ! and it's your joking style... ^^

we make it through the storm, dangerous stream, rain, sharp stone, rough road, chemical hazardous (?), and I now we can.

and the last second was just one step toward us. We have to be apart. because why ? because, ... you have a dream ad so do I. Eventough I love you much now, Ican't hinder you. ehm, and eventough you (might be) love me too ( I hope so ^^ <3), you can't hinder me either. Damn.

I met you , and it's a damn, but we're apart  is a damn also. huh, how complicated the love is...

2 years later....

I met so many people from the other part of the world , they are same with us , they come to get their dream too, but I now realize that they are different with me.

They aren't like you , they give me sweet smile, but we never ever talk. 

Some of them, had talked with me, but they didn't make a friend.

and, some, make a friend, but, we are not really connected.

and, some , connected, but we are too busy for our own self .

we now make it through the Tornado by our own self. no friendship.no love.no laugh.no tears.just cry.

now, I realize how much I love you ...

I often remind the moment that make me laugh by myself, cry by myself.

I often stalked your account ,maybe I'm a stalker, yeah..it's because I'm lonely here...

I often mention you in my diary...even it's past, but, past is better than nowadays...

hey, GUYS... who had spread around the world..

love, is not to say, but to act..

how could we act for our love.. ? You think it yourself, but I have my own way.

I will do care of you,I, and us...

Because when I know that I still have you, it's such an energy surge for me, for make it up again..

(hey, anyone think this is a love story ? haha, it's not at all... it's about my fellows, I will not mention it, but, if you're a part of us, you will know it )

what ? you think "you" is refer to a boy ?

(haha, it's not, I don't know it's boy or girl, I just make a naration that present my personal feeling at general,so maybe it's a boy or may be a girl)

Life's change (one litre of tears / one litre no namida)

"start from now on, me is not me at all, everything's around me is still the same, but now I look at them as a different soul"

begitulah kira-kira kutipan kata-kata yang diambil dari buku yang telah di adopsi menjadi drama One litre no namida atau lebih terkenal dengan nama One litre of tears.
kenapa tiba-tiba membicarakan One Litre of Tears ? bukannya drama itu sudah lama ditayangkan, kalau tidak salah, sudah 7 tahun lalu, (ketika saya masih smp ^^ ). Jawabannya adalah karena baru-baru ini saya baru saja mereview drama yang bisa membuat kita dehidrasi ini (?) --> aigoo!.
setelah menonton beberapa episode, saya benar-benar terkesan, dan saat menontonnya pun harus ditemani dengan 1 pack tissue, yang akan berguna untuk menghapus 1 liter air mata saya T.T.

May be I'm not suffered of an incurable disease like her, but, the similarity between  my story and hers is we both have a significant changes of life, that could make us want to back to the past, and altought, the changes that we suffered from are not precise at all, but I think what I felt of is not that different from what had been felt by her. So it makes me strong anyway, by seeing her effort to still alive,to face the world that now has a different looking to her, to not regret anymore of her "new" dissabled body, and try to accept it without any complaint.

So, berjuanglah fahma ! dan semua nya yang juga merasa hidupnya telah banyak berubah, karena yang terpenting adalah bisa menerima dan berusaha sekuat tenaga, maka hidup akan berada dipihakmu.

"I am trying to not regret it, by thinking who I was in the past, who still could run, played basketball , laughing, entering high school,...they make me want to back to the past. but it's IMPOSSIBLE, and the best wayout is try to accept my conditon, and I'll try my best, I want to be helpful for the people."
-ikeuchi Aya.